| |
Listen, support and play: Improv skills can improve relationships
The Oakland Tribue
July 10, 2002
By Chad Jones
Making things up can be good for your love life - if you know what you're doing, that is.
It turns out that studying improvisational comedy and theater - improv, for those in the know - is an excellent way to meet people and hone the skills that build a strong relationship.
"Being good at improv is being good at life," says Diane Rachel, an improv teacher with Bay Area Theatresports and a founding member of the improv troupe True Fiction Magazine.
"Students tell me all the time that the things they learn in improv, things like listening, participating, supporting and being playful, help them in the world outside the classroom," says Rachel, 43, an Oakland resident. "It sounds cliche, but I see people's lives improve all the time. They start to say 'yes' at work instead of 'no.' They're more open to possibilities."
Rachel's own life improved quite dramatically as a result of improv. She met and married one of her students.
During the class, the two played a scene as lovers. Sparks flew.
"When you're improvising together, your true self emerges very quickly," Rachel says. "Anything you know, anything you believe in comes out. You find out almost immediately the kind of people you're working with."
Mark Rachel, 33, former student and now Diane's husband, admits that he was shy growing up, but taking improv classes helped him overcome his shyness.
"I don't think I would have been brave enough to ask Diane out if I hadn't taken improv classes," Mark says. "Your whole attitude shifts and you start to embrace your mistakes and fear humiliation less."
Mark and Diane agree that the intense listening you have to do in improv as you and your scene partner make up characters and a scene translates into life as well.
"You have to be completely present and not spend too much time in your own head," Mark says. "Otherwise you miss something your partner does and the scene dies. In our marriage, we apply the same principle. We listen to each other carefully. So many people look like they're listening, but they're really in their head getting ready to say something. That's a pitfall in improv and in life as well. It's hard not to do that, but you can learn through practice."
Diane's troupe, True Fiction Magazine, is about to open a new show at San Francisco's Magic Theatre. "Ripped from the News" will, as the title implies, involve improvisations based on newspaper articles brought in by the audience. While Diane performs, Mark improvises a lighting design.
"For us, working together has been a good thing," Diane says. "Improv demands that you be playful, so we have a lot of fun."
Another benefit of her art, Diane says, is that in four years of marriage, she has never felt the urge to stray.
"I get to have all my affairs and lustful relationships on stage," she says with a laugh. "Because of the intimate nature of improv, working so closely with a variety of people, there are opportunities to be jealous. But I don't see that happening with improv couples - and I know a lot of improv couples. We all tend to be very open, and if something comes up, we talk about it."
After Diane and Mark got married, Mark told his bachelor friend Dave Patterson, "You need to find an improv teacher and get married." So that's what Patterson did.
The son of East Bay Improv founder Linda Patterson, Dave attended a two-week improv seminar at the Loose Moose Theatre Company in Canada. That's where he met Zackary Quinn Patterson, the improv teacher who would become his wife.
The Pattersons, who recently moved from Albany, where East Bay Improv is located, to Pinole, both teach and perform. They say that a key aspect of improv, playfulness, is incredibly helpful to their relationship.
"There's a certain amount of tension inherent in living with someone," Dave says. "Playfulness can cut right through that. If bills are piling up, I can do a puppet show with the envelopes, and that kind of makes things more pleasant. Seems like Zackary and I are always doing things like that."
Local improv teachers joke that their classes are actually a theater dating service. The Pattersons - he's 33, she's 38 - know a number of couples who have met and married through improv.
"Improv does seem to bond people in an interesting way," Dave says. "We find that after our own classes, the group wants to go out for a beer. They tend to become this happy, friendly group, even if they're pretty different characters. Improv bridges gaps with people who might otherwise not have anything to talk about."
Two years ago, when Dave and Zackary first started dating, Zackary says she could feel improv already playing a part in their relationship. "I was in Canada, he was down here," she recalls. "It was a tricky situation, but improv teaches you to say 'yes.' We didn't know how anything would work out, but we said, 'Let's do it. Let's see what happens."'
Good improv students don't always go for the jokes. They're more interested in advancing a narrative, seeing where the story takes them. That's what the Pattersons decided to do with their budding relationship - explore the narrative line.
"The thing is, you say 'yes' first and get scared later," Zackary says. "In classes we have a game called 'Yes, let's' that gets people to say 'yes' to things. The goal is to emphasize that we don't have to know what we're doing every step of the way. That can be paralyzing. That's true in life, too. If you stay too safe, the result is boredom. The reward for taking risks and not staying safe is adventure." One thing that Zackary says she stresses in her classes is that it's OK to fail.
"You're making it up as you go along, so it won't always succeed, no matter how good you are," she says. "Improv, like a relationship, is based on trust. You put yourself in the hands of people you're interacting with, and they do the same for you. You listen, play and be creative. You build something together that you couldn't make on your own. You have no idea where it's going or how it will end, but you know you'll go somewhere you've never been before."
###
True Fiction Magazine's "Ripped from the News" begins performances Wednesday and runs through July 28 at the Magic Theatre, Building D, Ft. Mason Center, Marina Boulevard at Buchanan Street. Tickets are $22-$37. Call (415) 441-8822 or visit www.magictheatre.org
|
